Extras Index > Advice for the Landowning
Lady
Gentle Reader,
Whilst going through some old papers I found the pamphlet
below. Although the author chose to remain anonymous, I have reason to believe
that Lady Georgina Maitland, my heroine from The
Leopard Prince, in fact wrote it.
Advice for the Landowning Lady
Advice for the Landowning Lady of Means on the Hiring
of Land Stewards
by an Anonymous Lady Who Knows
1.
When hiring a steward the genteel lady should keep in mind that there are many
Aesthetically Pleasing gentlemen who are just as much in need of work as those
that are older, surlier, and not nearly as pleasant to look upon. It is your duty
to hire them.
2. The Feminine Employer should remember that it is she who is
in charge. Do not be afraid to issue orders to your Male Employee, although there
are times when it may be to your advantage to permit your steward to issue orders
to you.
3. Do not under any circumstances enter into an Intimate Relationship
with your land steward.
4. However, should you succumb to broad shoulders, a dry tone,
and a knowing gaze, do try to be discrete.
5. Whatever you do, do not let your brothers become aware of the
liaison.
6. Or your sister.
7. Or your aunt, your family friends, your lady’s maid,
or indeed any of the other servants, passing strangers, and the public in general.
Discretion should be the watchword for the Genteel Lady desiring Further
Acquaintance with her land steward.
8. It is This Author’s opinion that it is of Paramount Importance
that the land steward be skilled in kissing and other Intimate Arts. She cannot
stress this particular point enough.
9. The Lady of Means should try to refrain from mooning about
and thinking obsessively of her land steward. This behavior is apt to attract
the notice of Other People. (see points 5, 6, & 7 above.)
10. Finally, the Genteel Lady Landowner must never, ever, fall
in love with her land steward. That way lies disaster--or at least a very good
book.
Yours Most Sincerely,
This article first appeared in the Warner April Dish.
